An ode to you, O Mighty Stanley Cup Champions!
How much I do loathe thee, Blackhawks team.
You barely make the playoffs, only to win, and make it look easy.
Thy Stanley Cups make me nauseous, and you leave a bitter taste in my mouth.
To keep thy team under the salary cap is miraculous; who doth thy finances?
Who doth thy negotiations, and can they negotiate things for me?
The NHL Front Office worships thee, and they cater to your every whim.
Even officials are so dazzled by your majesty that they cannot call offsides, or too many men!
Penalties evade thee like I try to evade thy intoxicated, imbecile fans.
What a glorious day it will be when thy mighty players become old and senile and cannot play.
May draft picks allude you; may the Cup never fall into thy filthy hands again.
My thy fans turn on you and become fans of the teams that haunt the Blackhawk's dreams.
I hate thee, and wish nothing but ill will upon thee, O Champions of Salary Cap Evasion!
Thy team is impossible! Congratulations are due for thee! Congratulations on keeping so many superstars together on a team! Congratulations-your fans are some of the worst in the league! Congratulations! Congratulations! Congra---sorry, I threw up from thinking about you too much, O Champions.
Click on these links to see my analyses and predictions from other rounds:
Round 1 | Round 2 | Round 3 | An Ode to the Champions
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